Choosing Values Over Fear
Finding Hope in Troubled Times
Yes, it’s a scary time for many people in the United States. With Donald Trump’s recent reelection, following a campaign that stirred up anger and division (to put it very lightly), half the country is celebrating while the other half is struggling with genuine fear. I’ll be the first to admit that it was extremely unsettling to watch our fellow Americans choose hate over hope, division over acceptance. There’s a lot to unpack, and over the next few weeks, I’m sure we’ll see endless analysis, finger-pointing, and debate over how this happened. What went wrong? How could people do this? Who’s to blame?
But… I’d like to set that aside for a moment.
Right now, for those feeling disheartened, I’d like to propose a different approach: Instead of focusing on what we can’t control, let’s turn our attention to what we can control—our core values.
Rediscovering Core Values
Let’s take a few deep breaths and then try to mentally take a step back and reflect on what truly matters to us. Not things or even people, but values—things like honesty, courage, or acceptance. We all have values but not all of us have taken the time to name them and define them.
So, that’s what I’d like you to do first. Name and define your core values, but don’t stop there—don’t just think of them in abstract terms. Ask yourself, how do these values actually guide my choices and actions every day? What do they mean in a practical sense? The goal is to identify and understand your core values, and then consider whether you might need to adjust some habits or make different choices to align what you say and do more closely with these values.
For instance, if compassion is one of your core values, ask yourself: How does this value show up in my day-to-day interactions? How can I strengthen my commitment to it in the face of a political climate that feels anything but compassionate?
Think about it: how can we judge our actions if we haven’t identified and truly considered those things we truly value? This process is about creating the yardstick we can use to measure our words and deeds.
Sharing and Defending Your Values
Once you’re clear about your values, think about how to express them to others. When conversations come up—especially tense political ones—try framing your perspective through the lens of your values rather than through a specific political stance. This can be powerful because values tend to resonate more deeply with people, making it harder to dismiss because they come from your personal beliefs.
Keep in mind that when you argue from a specific political position, people tend to “label and dismiss.” They slap a label on what you’re saying so that they can simply dismiss everything because it’s now part of something they’ve already decided is bad. For example, rightwing folks tend to look at certain policy proposals and slap the label of “socialism” on them. Of course, they don’t actually understand what socialism is or can be, but they have determined that socialism is “bad.”
When I asked an acquaintance to define what he meant by ‘socialism,’ he said, “You know—like Venezuela. Why do you think everyone is trying to leave that country and come here?” Like I said, he had no clue what ‘socialism’ is or what sort of policy proposals organizations like the Democratic Socialists of America (DSA) are pushing for. He had just decided that socialism = bad. Label and dismiss.
Instead of veering off into labeling and dismissing, what if we start by talking about our values instead. Imagine talking about ‘choice’ not in terms of political slogans but in terms of personal autonomy and respect. When others challenge us, we can be ready to ask thoughtful questions like, “How does this policy or viewpoint align with my values of fairness or kindness?” Or ask the person, “What values does that policy proposal support?” You’ll find that most people have either not thought about the values underlying certain policies, or they’re trying not to think about it.
Regardless, shifting conversations away from the typical political talking points and meme-worthy soundbites can help others examine their own positions from a values-based perspective. If we do it effectively, it can lead to a deeper and more meaningful dialogue.
Focusing on Values Rather Than Politics
If there’s anything we can take away from this Presidential election, it’s the importance of not letting political identities overshadow our values. Instead of fixating on parties or individuals, we can examine policies and proposals by asking questions like, “What values does this policy promote? Does it align with my own values of [equity, kindness, justice, or fill-in-the-blank]?”
This values-based approach is one way to attempt to enter into genuine conversations with folks who disagree with us, but in a way that goes beyond the political headlines. Will people disagree with your values? They might. But if they tell you that your personal beliefs are “wrong,” it opens up opportunities for further conversation, whereas labeling and dismissing shuts down conversation. (I’ll write more on this later.)
My point is that by identifying and staying grounded in our values, we make it possible to guide discussions toward issues that matter most—questions of compassion, fairness, and integrity. But the first step in being able to do that is to take the time to identify and define your own core values. It will be time well spent.
Join Us in Building a Values-Driven Future
If you’re ready to focus on values instead of fear, join us at The CODA Project. We’re working to shift the conversation from divisive politics to a deeper, values-based dialogue that can drive real change. Together, we can create communities that embrace our core beliefs and align our lives accordingly.
Subscribe to The CODA Project and join our movement to find strength in values, not fear. Many of us are afraid right now, including me, which makes it even more important that we find a way to move forward with purpose and build a world grounded in respect, empathy, and genuine understanding.